Boo hoo!! I started back to work this week. My emotions were so jumbled over this event in the lives of the Theismanns. I was excited to see my friends and work with my patients again. I love being a nurse and I love taking care of sick kiddos. However, I did not want to leave my baby, even though he's in good hands (I have a fantastic husband by the way). I was also and still am stressing out about how I'm supposed to sleep during the day with a baby who doesn't like to take long naps.
Of course I cried on my drive the first (and second) night back. I was thinking about why I cried on my way to work then but not when I had to go in before or when we left him with a babysitter. I figured out it's because I don't have a choice anymore. I have to go to work and it's harder to return to him if need be. I know that Sam is completely capable of taking care of the little guy, but I've been his primary caregiver up to this point. It's weird not knowing everything about him anymore.
Today (my third night back to work) was great at first. I didn't cry on my way in and I got to sleep quite a bit (5.5 hours which is awesome for a night shifter). However, when I got to work, I discovered that one of my patients was wearing a sleeper that Sawyer has. I might have shed a tear or two. Then later (about 30 minutes ago), I was looking at this same patient as he slept and admiring his little feet like I do Sawyer's and let's just say, I had to excuse myself to go make milk for my baby. Oh geez...it's hopeless.
Well, I better finish this up and get back to work. I'm excited for a couple days at home with my baby and husband before work on Sunday. Adios!
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